Growth, Maturity and a Slight Pinch of Ed
by Ammish
Summary: A coming-of-age story where Edd and Marie began to see each other in a new light. Edd saw her as an annoyance. Marie saw him as a toy. But as they change throughout their school life, they fall in love and endured through teenage hardships. Love is not perfect. But is it worth holding onto?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Ed, Edd n Eddy and thus, whatever goes on in here or any of my work based on Ed, Edd n Eddy are non-canon. I am a fan of the series, nothing more and nothing less. Thank you, Cartoon Network and Danny Antonucci for creating this wonderful work.

**A/N: **My Author Notes after this will be hosted on pastebin. This is where I reply to member's reviews, talk about my design choices and mess around by making hints. It's because Author Notes are too intrusive, which I am doing now! But this is the first and only time. Everything after are pastebin links. I also like to thank StarUchicha, KiltedEngineer, and therealshackleford1 as they are the reason why I want to write this. Not because of the EddxMarie pairing, which I now love, but because they spend so much time world-building, character building and taking the time to push them forward on so many chapters. I want to join that and push my own effort. I highly advise you to read those three author's work. Even if you aren't a fan of the pairing, the story itself are excellent to read regardless. Other than that, kick back and enjoy the four year tale.

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In the basement of Ed's house, as the light of the large full moon can be seen from the window, lies the three Eds. They are no longer little children, but growing teenagers. In the corner lies a large black 32" Zony Television, that Ed always have owned since his younger age. Ed never had a chance to update to the modern television, possibly because he never had enough money after indulging in his comic book habits.

On the large, mouldy bed sat Ed, dressed in his usual green jacket and trousers. This time, he wore thin, metal-frame glasses, because of a lazy eye defect. Ed believed that with those glasses would make him smarter, though his intelligence level remained the same. When his favourite B-horror movie came on, his brain shuts off, absorbing the movie. Ed focused his eyes on the TV, watching "The Wolf of Hawaii", ignorant of the situation around him.

On the sofa lay Eddy, now the tallest of the Eds. His father's genes kicked in a year ago and he went through a tremendous growth spurt. He wore a large, black top with white sleeves and black trousers. He wasn't paying too much attention to the movie, instead concerned for the young man in the corner, grasping onto a black touch screen smartphone. Eddy stood up from the sofa and walked over to the young man in the corner, with a pitiful look.

"Hey... Double D..." said Eddy, waiting for Edd to respond.

Edd buried himself in his long, black hair, his eyes only peeking through to look at his smartphone. His hair, instead of tidy and clean, is gangly and messy. His eyes shows deep sleeping bags and his shirt being untucked.

"Double D. I'm really sorry, man, but.. you can't let it get you down." Eddy comforted.

There was silence. Eddy waited and waited for Edd's voice to come out. A reply. But as he was about to give up and return to the sofa, that raspy voice came out.

"I... know it shouldn't. But you... cannot discard four years"

"Four years?" asked Eddy, confused to Edd's answer. "I thought you've been going out for three years?"

"I'm counting the year of the mutual friendship before we felt we wanted a romantic relationship" Edd answered, clearing up the confusion. "Though what does it matter? It's over now. She's gone"

Eddy did not want to reply, instead setting his eyes on Edd's smartphone, his wallpaper being Edd, smiling with his gap tooth exposed, and his hat no longer on his head, but on a young woman clutching against him. The young woman having longer-than-shoulder length blue hair and wearing a black punk rock t-shirt. That picture bothered Eddy and he felt that he has to make that choice, one that will shatter the already heartbroken Edd even further.

"I'm sorry, Double D, but this is for your own good" said Eddy, snatching the smartphone away from Edd's hands. "You need to let go of Marie"

Edd committed an atrocity that goes against his entire character once again, made worse by the fact that this time, it was to his best friend. Clenching his fists, he punched Eddy in his face, catching him by surprise and forced to drop Edd's phone. Edd made haste and grabbed his phone, as Eddy flinched from the blow. Eddy quickly recuperated from the blow and just gave a pitiful look at Edd, understanding the reaction that he has received. Even Ed snapped out of his trance from the film to realise what was going on, as he watched the two boys.

Edd took a second glance at Eddy, realising what he did. "Eddy... I... apologise" said Edd.

"Just forget it" said Eddy, turning his back onto Edd. "You don't have to stay here. Hanging around with you doesn't help"

"No, Eddy. It re..." But Eddy cut off Edd, turning around.

"You have been like that for nine days, Double D. Ever since the Kankers left. All you ever do is look at her picture. I'm sorry, dude. I know you can't forget about her just like that. Like I don't want to let go of my 70s collection. But... you... have us. We aren't going anywhere"

"You are expecting beyond my means to get over four years of my life with her in nine days just to suit you, Eddy" Edd retorted to Eddy.

"I didn't mean it like that" said Eddy, defending himself from such an accusation.

"Well, Eddy. Consider the weight of those words that you have just shared with me!" exclaimed Edd, as he stormed up the stairs of the basement, feeling too infuriated to be in the presence of his friends. "Because... right now. I do not want to deliberate logically or rationally. I just have lost the most delightful moments of my adolescents living. You cannot even grasp the situation that I am in. My emotions are not a switch. I cannot turn them off to suit you"

"Double D!"

"Goodbye, Eddy!" He shouted, storming out of the door from the basement to the first floor, before slamming it shut.

Eddy and Ed both stood in silence as they witnessed Edd's outburst and abrupt exit. The silence lingered, both of them having nothing to say. Not a joke. Not a change of subject. Not even about Edd himself. They stood, just as confused themselves, still processing the entire event that has happened. The event that would change their lives forever, to never be the same again.

Outside in the night sky of the Cul-de-sac, Edd walked alone the road, keeping his head down towards the ground. No longer the calm and rational man that he always was, he felt like he'd become a heart-broken and dispirited teenager, wandering around as if he were become a yearning ghost. For those past nine days, Edd felt like his heart has been torn away.

_My name... is Double D. I assume you are wondering what transpire these events?_

He soon arrived back at his home; similar to all the other houses. A regular house fitting for the cul-de-sac. He walked sluggishly towards his door, breathing in the aroma mixing the scent of flowers from his garden with the scent of the ground calling. Rather than opening the door, Ed sheepishly leaned against it, sliding down until he hit the floor.

_Well, it is a lengthy story. How long, you may ask? Think four years, give or take. If you do have time, I can explain those four years. How me and Marie fell in love. Yes, Marie. Who terrorised me, invading my personal space on her whim. It was the same for Eddy and Ed respectively with her sisters._

_Those four years were, I admit, not always perfect. Like all romantic relationships, it is plagued with discernible disagreements and habits. But we managed to make it work._

_To understand the context, we must start from the beginning._

_From that point in time._


	2. Year One: Ed Foolery Trap I

"Oh good lord, Eddy! We're trapped!"

"Argh, sockhead. How did this happen?"

"Cool, we're like butterflies owls hanging upside down!"

The three Eds were hanging over the ground, wrapped up in a very strange rope tied to the tree. A somewhat green like cacti with short, black spine, some of them were piercing inside the boys' skins. Hovering over the ground by the tree behind Ed's house, they refused to squirm too much because of the excruciating pain from the spines.

"Ed. Bats are the one that latches upside down, not owls" Edd corrected Ed.

"Argh, who's idea was it to make a rope out of cactuses? It's in my skin!" Eddy shouted in pain, sweating profusely.

"Impressive. The rope is created out of a material from a specific species of Cactaceae that is surprisingly more excruciating than Jim" complimented Edd, referencing a small cactus that he keeps in his bedroom, that same cactus that Edd is always so defensive of and would feel overwhelmingly upset if something happened to the poor Cacti.

"Sockhead" screamed Eddy, scorning idle chatter in the middle of excruciating pain. "We need your brain to figure out how we're going to get out of this mess!"

"Oh uhm... Sorry, gentlemen, but... we need outside help from our community. If I could, I would conceive a... well... urgh... Can't... speak... more. Too... painful". Edd struggled to utter another word as the spines pierced further, probably due to Edd's constant squirming.

"Ed!" Eddy called out to Ed.

"I am a magical owl..." Ed was mumbling to himself, the sharp point from the spines having little to no effect on the dim-witted young man. He turned his head to Eddy "Yes, Eddy?"

"Call out your sister! I can't stand being tied up like this any longer!" yelled Eddy.

"NO, EDDY!" yelled back a frightened Ed after hearing the word 'Sister'. Ed, despite being the older sibling, was frightened of his younger sister, Sarah. Nothing changed much between them; Sarah still had the control as her mother always took her side over Ed's. Now, Sarah was playing dollies with Jimmy, her best friend, and she instructs Ed specifically to not disturb her for any reason. Even in case of emergency. "Sarah is playing dollies with Jimmy!"

"Fine! I'll do it" decided Eddy.

"NO!" Ed screamed, terrified of the consequences that can occur upon them, though Eddy'd rather suffer the wrath of Sarah's tantrums than suffer one more second tied in ropes made out of cacti.

"HEY, TWERP. LOUD-MOUTH BRAT. STOP PLAYING YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR DOLLIES AND COME OUT HERE"

There was silence. Not even a voice or a mumble. The intentional insult that would have aggravated Sarah has no consequences. But Ed still trembled, sweating profusely. Eddy stared, confused at the lack of activity and Edd was too busy trying to draw out his breathing, struggling with the cacti rope squeezing his spine into his torso. Even the sparrows were still chirping like it is no one's business. But then, the sparrows just up and en flocke, flapping its wings rapidly as if a hawk is closing in onto them. And then, the ground trembled.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Ed screamed, panic-stricken "Oh no. Sarah... SARAH'S COMING!"

"Oh, Eddy... What have... you... wrought?" said Edd, wheezing after every word uttered.

Thump. THUMP. **THUMP.** The red door at the back of Ed's house flew forward, ripped from his hinges as it snapped into the tree, causing it to snap upon itself and collapse to the ground, bringing the boys down to terra firma in possibly one of the most painful ways.

"AAARRRRGH. IT'S DIGGING FURTHER INTO MY SKIN" screamed Eddy.

"Argh. THIS IS DEFINITELY MORE EXCRUCIATING THAN JIM!" screamed Edd.

"GET IT OFF ME!" yelped Ed, with the mightiest of his strength, that he expanded his arms outwards and snapped the cacti rope. The spines shot out like bullets, though by stroke of luck, not even a single one landed on the glass window. But soon lady luck left their side, as the young, angry eight year old emerged from the house, her eyes filled with the flames of hades itself.

"Don't you DARE insult my dollies" Sarah shouted, stomping her foot. Behind the enraged little girl is another child, a little timid boy with fluffy hair.

"Yeah, you're making Mr. Yum Yum sad" shouted Jimmy defensively, referring to his purple bunny rabbit plush, 'Mr. Yum Yum', Jimmy's favourite toy.

"Well... Mr. Yum Yum can suck it. Heck, we don't need you and your pet dog! Ed got us covered, right!" Eddy shouted, referring to the pet dog as Sarah, which she caught on and her wrath accumulated past the depths of hell.

"Oh you're going to get it. Once I'm done with you, I'm going to tell Mum on Ed!" exclaimed Sarah, marching forward with her fists held high and her eyes filled with blood shot, screaming blood from Eddy. The grass in the ground having large imprints of her shoes, debris of mud scattered from its impact. Yet one step triggered something: a trap. A section of the ground under the right foot of Sarah just collapsed, revealing a ditch... full of cacti!

"SAAARAAH" shouted Ed, as he rushed forward, making haste as he is courageously attempting to rescue his sister. Jumping over the cacti-filled ditch, he spread his arms as he catch his sister into his grasp and successfully got to the opposite side of the ditch, where Jimmy stood and watched with fear, then relief. Sarah, shaken by what nearly has happened to her, just clutched onto Ed's jacket and becoming... apologetic.

"I'M SORRY, BIG BROTHER. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HATED ME THAT MUCH THAT YOU MADE A TRAP. I'LL STOP BEING MEAN, I PROM.." Sarah's apology, more out of fear than genuine feelings, is interrupted by Eddy.

"WE DIDN'T MAKE THAT TRAP!"

"You didn't?" asked Sarah, changing her stance back to her more mean-spirited self and pushed Ed away from herself defensively. "Then who did it?"

"Eddy..."

"Well I don't know. If I have known, then I would be giving him the Eddy McGee treatment" said Eddy, trying to lift his arms into a punching stance, though the constrict of the cacti rope restricted him so. "Right after lumpy get me out of this thing!"

"Okay, Eddy!" acknowledged Ed, as he grabbed hold of Eddy by his collar and with the gnash of his teeth, he successfully chewed through the cacti rope, though the spine shattered part of his teeth. But that didn't seem to bothered the Ed. "Oh Eddy, my teeth just snapped into little baby pieces! Oh well, TOOTH FAIRY!"

"Ed, Eddy..."

"You still believe in that baby crap?" asked Eddy, baffled that Ed, a twelve year old, still believes in the mythical tooth fairy. A strange creature that exchanges cash for gold, but with calcium.

"But Eddy. If you are a very good person, then the tooth fairy will visit you at night! She shuns those non-believers!" preached Ed

"You sound like those preachers who hang around Key Lime Mall, talking to us about the word of..."

"ED, EDDY. PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS BLASTED CONTRAPTION!" screamed Edd, interrupting Eddy as he squirmed and struggled; his face expanded bright red.

"Oh hey, Double D" said Eddy nonchalantly. "Monobrow, get Double D out of this thing"

"But Eddy, I might lose more of my teeth" Ed pointed out.

"That means the tooth fairy shall visit you for longer" Eddy tricked Ed, which brought out a huge dopey grin from Ed.

"YAAAAAY, THE TOOTH FAIRY SHALL VISIT ME LONGER!" Ed replied happily, as he readies himself to gnash onto the cacti rope that constricted Edd.

"Wait, Ed. Maybe you should reconsider the long term physical and traumatic effects of your dental hygei..." warned Edd, yet Ed has done so regardless, shattering more of his crowns in the process. Freed of the constrictions of the cacti rope, Edd has raised up with his arms stretched out to absorb the very essence that he has missed for the past twenty minutes. Freedom. At the cost of Ed's teeth.

"Well, Ed, I believe that you shall not be consuming any assorted confectionery for the time being until your teeth has made... some form of recovery?" Edd said to Ed, yet he remained oblivious to Edd's warning as he was infatuated with the concept of meeting the tooth fairy.

"I can't wait to meet the tooth fairy!" blissfully mumbled Ed.

"So we're all free, right?" Eddy asked both Edd and Ed, in which they both replied back with a nod. "Okay, we need to find out who is setting up all these traps"

"I concur, Eddy" said Edd. "Especially as the traps are decisively hidden and remain almost naked to the human eye. Almost as if... they were planned out accordingly to capture any passer by. And... what they all have in common is..."

Edd's eyes analysed the traps in his surroundings, which points out to a correlation. "The cacti. All these traps... are cacti-themed"

"So someone must have a huge obsession with cactuses" deduced Eddy.

"Cacti" corrected Edd. "But yes, the culprit has a certain affinity with the Cactaceae. This cause for research. We need to investigate. Who would purchase or procure a large quantity of cacti to be used in various traps? And why would they do this?"

"What about Johnny?" accused Sarah, capturing the attention of the Eds.

"Johnny?" asked Edd, curious of the reason why Sarah would pull out such an accusation.

"Don't you remember?" asked Jimmy. "Two months ago after Eddy's brother pummelled him so horribly and Johnny attacking you three, he became the Gourd"

"The who?" asked Edd

"Wait, two months? Wasn't it longer than that?" asked Eddy, confused by the dates. "I'm sure it was spring"

"No, no, no. You silly goose" corrected Ed. "It was May! I thi..."

"No, no. It was February, I tell you!" Sarah snapped at those two.

"This is rather strange. I always check my calendar daily" claimed Edd, though not out of his usual character as every day he wakes up, he checks the calendar. "But for the life of me, I cannot recall the date"

Silence fell over all of them, as they have stand there deep in thoughts of the dates, not too dissimilar to a vocal community behind the window of 0s and 1s, bashing their fingers on the keys as they argued about dates and ages. Still, they quickly dispell those thoughts and focused on the main issue at hand. The first suspect, Johnny, possibly known as the 'Gourd'. And Eddy has plans with him, knowing first-hands of his weaknesses.

"Let's pay a little visit to our 'friend'"


	3. Year One: Ed Foolery Trap II

**Author Notes #1:** (www).pastebin.(com/)Wqkc1QdY

* * *

The Eds, Sarah and Jimmy wandered around the middle of the cul-de-sac as Edd scanned the surrounding,s in case they accidentally triggered another of the hidden cacti traps, but Edd found nothing out of the ordinary. The street lamp, although slightly rusted due to the negligence of the council, stood out as nothing alarming and potato chips packets littered just a few feet away. Even the brightly-lit sun that looms over the cul-de-sac with its strong radiance didn't give a hint. The area was clean of suspicion.

"Gentlemen..." said Edd, though Sarah notified him with a disapproving glare, which he quickly rectified, to her delight. "And lady. Just to be clear on this matter, we do not have enough evidence to accuse Jonny of committing these vile crimes"

"What are you talking about, Sockhead? Jonny definitely did it" replied Eddy, adamant in his accusation.

"Well, if I recall correctly, we were right in our convictions against Jonny for the theft of my magnifying glass and Sarah's doll" Edd retorted sarcastically, reminding him of the events that occurred where Jonny was unjustly blamed for the missing items that were misplaced by the owners and was gifted with a tyre ride down the hill.

"Well this is different!" Eddy snapped back.

"How so?" asked Edd.

"He's The Gourd, he tried getting revenge on us a few times" said Eddy

"Recall AFTER we returned from the theme park with your older brother, Eddy" said Edd, annoyed at the flimsy accusation against Jonny as to him, there is a lack of substantial evidence against him aside from his alter-ego as the Ed villainous 'Gourd'.

"I gave up my scams?"

"I would have believed you if you haven't devised a plan to scam the shoppers at Key Lime Mall in the previous week"

"Eddy never changes" Sarah grumbled.

"HEY, I HEARD THAT!" Eddy snapped, his three strands of hair spiked up like an angered cat. "At least I don't scam any of you and it's not like you care about passer-by in the mall"

"Mr. Eddy" Jimmy asked, a huge child-like glimmer of innocence from his eyes as his hands grappled into Eddy's yellow collar. "Tell me... What is Key Lime Mall like?"

"Wait what, you never been?" Eddy was surprised. "I thought every American Kid's first trip is always to a mall"

"Nope"

"Well... Buckle up, kid"

Eddy magically grabbed a small wooden chair from afar, which defied all the laws of physics, just to seat the excited little Jimmy as he began to delve into the idea of overselling the imagination of the mall to an eight year old child. Eddy restricted himself to only scam those who are not in the cul-de-sac, thus the only other option he has was to gloat and impart his knowledge.

"You see, the mall is a wonderful place. Key Lime Mall has a chain of shops, filled with everything that you can imagine. Video games. Candy. Every luxury brand that you can think of!"

"And books" added Edd

"AND GRAVY TOO" added Ed in his excited and dopey tone.

"I'm getting Jimmy excited. Not scaring him!" Eddy snapped back, which prompted a low-tone gruff from Edd. Turning his attention back to Jimmy, Eddy continued. " And it is like... heaven! You can do anything there. Window shopping. Throwing pebbles into the fountain where the security guard isn't looking. And trust me, it is a challenge bringing those pebbles into the mall"

"Is there a toy shop in the mall?" Jimmy asked with his wide-eye innocence, awaiting his answer with every breath.

"Of course, shrimp" ecstatically responded Eddy. "Every toy you can think of!"

"EVEN A NEW BROTHER FOR MR. YUM YUM?"

"Hell, why stop at a new brother? How about a new sister? YOU CAN GET EVERYTHING AT THE MALL. EVERYTHING"

"I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO THE MALL!" Jimmy shouted joyfully, hopping up and down on the chair as he absorbed into his own expectations of the mall shared by the exaggeration of Eddy's version. Yet Eddy couldn't help but pull a genuine smirk, knowing that someone at least appreciate his help, even though it is the false type of help.

"Lookie here, my little man, being the little salesman he is"

The air filled with giggles and laughter that would make those three boys shudder, collapse and lose hope in the world upon hearing. The presence that would make their skin crawl and instilled fear into their hearts.

"Uh, Double D, would you... check that for me?" asked Eddy, clearly frightened.

"...Would I even dare to turn?" mumbled Edd, scared to even move even a little smidgen.

"Oh, dreamboat. All you need to do is ask"

With the strength of the mysterious, but familiar being, has spun Edd around like a dreidel. Spun around and round, Edd couldn't clearly catch a glimpse of the person, but he knew too well they were, and as the spinning decrease, the visual of the person became ever more clear. Her blue hair covering one side of her face, hiding her right eye. Her black top, flat and bland. And her green cargo pants, loosely fitting.

"Oh... Marie" said Edd, wobbling from side to side, trying to strike a balance to keep himself from collapsing. "Pray tell. Why are you in our presence?"

"Do we need a reason to visit our boyfriends" Marie replied, giggling alongside her two sisters, Lee and May. Their clothing hasn't changed at all, Lee sporting her spotted red top and blue jeans, May still having her grey t-shirt with baggy red shorts, and Lee's red curls and May's huge buck teeth being their standard traits.

"And the answer iiiiiiisssss..." Lee drawn out her sentence, as Marie began to pull out two sticks from her pockets and clanged them against the rusted lamp post in a series of beats as if they were drums. "...bbbzzztt. Wrong. We don't need a reason to visit our boyfriends!"

"Hey, I had a different answer" shouted May, oblivious to the fact that it was a rhetorical question

"Cram it, May. All it matters is that I can spend time with my oven mitt" Marie responded, forcefully hugging Edd against his will as he began to stroke the top of his hat like a pet.

"EDDY! SHE'S TOUCHING ME!" screamed Edd, pushing himself away from her, to no avail.

"OH NO, THE EVIL, BLOOD SUCKING VAMPIRES HAVE GOT HOLD OF HIM. I'LL SAVE YOU" Ed shouted, marching towards Marie in a valiant attempt to save his best friend from the evil clutches of the blue-haired woman. Instead of a heroic rescue where Edd could have been saved with no harm inflicted, he crashed into those two, dragging them along right into the woods just near the cul-de-sac. Tearing down the weak and frail oak-brown fences, it carved a path, smashing down a few trees in the process.

"DREAMBOAT, WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING? TELL HIM TO QUIT IT" exclaimed Marie in the distance.

"Ed! PLEASE CALM DOWN! AND MARIE, I'M DISSAPOINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE" shouted Edd in the distance.

"Hey, Monobrow. You were supposed to rescue Sockhead! Not taking down the whole woods with you!" Eddy exclaimed, slapping his hands against his forehead.

"Well, Well... Monobrow is such a gentlemen. He approved of Double D and Marie so much that he brought them to the woods!" joked Lee, giggling maliciously, though May wasn't joining in on the giggling.

"MY MAN NEEDS ME. ED, WAIT FOR ME!" May shouted out towards the woods, as she marched onwards to follow the trail that was left behind by Ed, leaving behind Eddy, Jimmy, Sarah and Lee.

"Oh, my girls. What would I do without them" Lee mumbled to herself with a smirk. "So my little man, where do you want the good stuff? I can do it almost anywhere... Though certain places I expect dinner on top"

"How about you take the offer and shove it. Free of charge" Eddy snapped back.

"Not penny pinching this time? You really have changed. Shame, I don't like changes much"

"Mr. Eddy" interrupted Jimmy, still trembling in the presence of Lee. "Wouldn't those traps be in the woods?"

"Wait what? Little fluffy man" asked Lee in a menacing tone, inching closer to Jimmy. "Tell me about these... traps"

"WAIT DON'T, JIMMY" Eddy warned

"IF YOU HURT HIM, YOU'LL BE SORRY" threatened Sarah, staring at Lee with the eyes of hell fire.

"Oh cute, but no one tells me what to do. Not you, little girl nor you, my little man. Now..." Lee clicked her thumbs, expecting the answer in full from Jimmy. And Jimmy would never risk not answering, as the Kankers are a force that the whole cul-de-sac would never want to deal with. "You tell me right now or I'll give you my special treatment"

"OKAY. OKAY. The Eds were hanging down from a tree because they fell into a trap, made out of those spiky tree, and they called us down. Then he insulted my Mr. Yum Yum and made Sarah really angry. And Sarah nearly fall into a trap. And we all thought there could be traps like that all around the cul-de-sac. And we're looking for Jonny because he is the Gourd. AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME. I'M TOO YOUNG!"

Jimmy spilt the whole truth, desperate for his life as he was intimidated by the presence of the leader of the pack. Though he is always scared of little things such as bugs and violence, his fear from a Kanker is an understandable one. Who would like to get on the wrong side of her?

"Spiky tree?" asked Lee

"He means the cactus" Eddy grumbled.

"Whatcha know? Maybe I can help you with that? I have a score to settle" replied Lee.

"Why do you want to help us?"

"Because the person you are looking for, I want his head. The trailer park is filled with those traps. Luckily we have May to trigger those traps, but if someone has a grudge with me, I want them to look me straight in the eyes and say it to my face"

"Pffft, what eyes?"

Lee punched Eddy in the stomach as a reaction to his ill-mannered joke. "So do you want my help?"

"Yeah, yeah. But first... I need to lay on... this... floor." replied Eddy, struggling to keep his composure as he clutched onto his stomach, slowly lowering himself to a fetal position on the concrete floor. "And... Sarah, Jimmy"

"Hmm?" Jimmy and Sarah hummed in union.

"Don't tell anyone that I'm on the floor because I got punched by a girl"

"What my little man says. I like to brag about that" Lee gloated.

"Lee, Lee!"

Lee turned around to see May running away from the woods, panting. A peculiar item was lodged into her blonde, ruffled hair, that being an intact cactus branch with its spines intact, lodged upright in a painful manner. May has a high pain threshold and thus, she was rather more concerned with what she wanted to say rather than the cactus lodging into her hair.

"Why are you back here? I thought you would be with your man by now" asked Lee, curious. "Nice head wear, but green doesn't suit you"

"Hardeehah, but the woods is crawling with tons of traps like the one in our trailer park!" May exclaimed.

"You what? MARIE IS IN THERE. Okay, this is now getting on my nerves. You two twerps, go and get more men because this expedition, because this requires the man's touch" Lee commanded to Sarah and Jimmy.

"Why don't you do it yourself?" Sarah snapped

"Don't question me. I thought a girl like you would understand better. Now chop chop or do you prefer my gift before?" Lee responded, reminding her of the wet willies that she was given when they were travelling to Mondo A-Go Go.

"Let's go, Jimmy!"

"Okay!" Jimmy agreed, seeing the two children set off hastily in search of the remaining men, or rather 'Kevin' and Rolf', leaving Eddy and Lee to await more help and finally venture into the woods.

Meanwhile, in the distance, far away from the children, a mysterious, unnatural cactus stood upright near the woods, looking more plastic with blunt, fake spines and a label located near the bottom, the letters reading "DRY ONLY PLEASE". Yet it stood there, like it was devoid of life.

A young, bald man, Jonny 2x4 walked up to the unnatural cactus, clutching Plank. His curiousity caught him out as he closely examined the unnatural cactus, leaving no inch behind. Up on top, around the side, despite the fact that the air holes that are found near the top. Once Jonny finished examining, he consulted with Plank.

"What do you think, Plank?"

"..."

"You seriously think so?"

"..."

"Oh, okay. I'll ask him"

Jonny 2x4 looked straight at the unnatural cactus with a dopey smile. "Plank says that you're an actual person inside that cactus"

"DANGNABIT" screamed a voice from inside the cactus. "I mean... I am a cactus!"

Jonny 2x4 consulted Plank again "Plank. What do we do? I think we're wrong and we are really talking to a cactus!"

"..."

"You mean, he's lying? If you say so" said Jonny 2x4, turning his attention to the cactus once again, to find that it hopping along into the woods. "PLANK, THE CACTUS IS MOVING. WHAT DO WE DO?"

"..."

"CAPTURE IT? OKAY!"

"..."

"OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. IF I CAPTURE HIM, THEN EVERYONE WILL LIKE ME AGAIN!"

Jonny 2x4 found his determination once again, wanting to get back into the good books of the cul-de-sac, though he was never really an enemy of anyone in the first place. Regardless, he marched on forth deep into the woods, following the mysterious cactus.


	4. Year One: Ed Foolery Trap III

Ed's unpredictable, and yet almost-but-not-quite, showmanship of heroism landed himself, Edd and Marie deep into the woods, where the branches and the leaves are an obstacle to the radiant sunlight shining over the cul-de-sac. Nary a glimmer shone in through the gaps. Marie, gripping onto Edd like glue, lay against one of many trees, having a few splinters from the shards of the tree lodged into their clothing attire. Ed has managed to make himself a hole in the tree, unintentionally, as a result of his almost-heroic action.

Edd woken up from unconsciousness, his eyes first rested on the placement of Ed, a concerned look on his face. "Ed, are you okay?"

Ed turned his head towards Edd with a dopey smile. "I'm as fine as my..."

There was a violent cough from Ed, the two crowns falling from his mouth. For him, it was more of a celebration as more lost teeth means a 'longer visit' from the mythical tooth fairy. "I think the tooth fairy needs a suitcase to carry my teeth, Double D"

"Oh my, some of those are your mature set. I believe you will be needing dentures" Edd responded with concern.

"Like Grandma?" Ed asked in another dopey and innocent manner, not realising the extent of the damage that a twelve year old child, or a child regardless, should not endure.

"Then again, some of those look salvageable, so the dentist can insert them back into your gums, Ed"

"But Double D. This is my chance to have teeth like Count Dracula"

"…Let's get you out of this predicament"

Edd tried to lift himself from the ground, though he felt a certain weight of the blue, young woman's arms wrapped around his torso, Marie. She was in an unconscious state due to the physical blow in the trees from Ed's heroism, though Edd has bountiful luck to only suffer mere seconds of blackout. Still, Edd shudders by the intimacy of Marie's hug, though he shudders to be hugged by any girl.

"...She's still touching me, Ed" grumbled Edd, attempting to escape from her grasp, pushing Marie away to no avail. He even broke a sweat, though Edd's physical strength is a representation that would make men infatuated by muscular builds to break in tears at the sight of it. "Ed, I'm... afraid that... uhm, I need your assistance"

"Why? This is perfect, oven mitt?"

Edd gulped when the voice of an awakening Marie fell onto his ears, though fear overwhelmed Edd and his neck stiffened in the direction of Ed and that particular tree. He refused to turn his head towards Marie, yet he could feel her slow breathing as her lips inches in closer to his ear, and he began to sweat profusely.

"Don't you think this is romantic?" Marie asked maliciously.

"..." Edd couldn't muster up the courage to say anything, sweating more than previously.

"Oh Oven Mitt. I think this could be the closest we have ever been!"

"Maarr...iiieee... I thhiiiink... we... ne...eee...eeed... to... reconsi...de...r this. You... know... take... things... slow?" Edd stuttered, enveloped in a state of panic.

"We already taken it slow for about a year now, oven mitt. I think we are ready for the next stage..."

"Next stage?" Edd gulped

"Indeed"

"Ed! Eddy! Anyone! Mother! Father! PLEASE HELP M..."

And yet a miracle, for Edd, happened, as a wrong foot from Marie triggered another of the nefarious cacti trap, this time made out of simple, yet tough cacti ropes, wrapping itself around Marie's right foot and pulling her into the air away from the ground. Edd remained, away from the clutches of Marie and he felt gladsome. Edd wasted no time as he quickly came to the aid of his friend, Ed, as his best friend shall always come first.

"Thank goodness. Now, Ed. Let's get you out of this predicament" said Edd, analysing the current situation of Ed inside the tree.

"HEY, OVERMITT. I APPRECIATE IF YOU COME AND HELP ME!" screamed Marie, hanging upside down by the cacti rope.

"Now Ed, let me analyse how to get you out safely with no long term damages..." Edd catch himself trying to finish his sentence, when he noticed the inside of Ed's mouth exposed more gum than teeth, with large, spacious gaps of around two to three missing tooth between each tooth. "Well, aside from well... your teeth"

"Oh, don't you worry, Double D" Ed assured with a dopey smile, his lack of teeth have made his smile more frightening than sincere.

"I appreciate your smiling face, Ed, but for your safety, maybe you shouldn't smile" lied Edd, as he began to push Ed's lower jaw upwards towards his upper lip. "Now I believe physical strength is the solution, so Ed, I want you to breathe in"

"You mean like this, Double D!" asked Ed, began to open his mouth wide, exposing more of his almost-teethless gums and breath in the large amount of air, green leaves from the trees and even grass pulled from the ground, like it is a vacuum cleaner set to a vacuum only seen in space. Edd's hat was caught in the vacuum region of Ed's powerful breathing, which he grabbed onto like his life was depended on it. Though not surprising, as Edd felt paranoid enough to never show what is under the hat, one of the biggest mysteries alongside Rolf's origins and if Plank actually speaks back or it was all in Jonny's head.

"Good lord, Ed. A simple low quantity of inhaling is necessary" He exclaimed, gripping onto his black, woollen hat.

"Sorry, Double D" slobbered Ed, muffled by the fabric of Edd's hat lodged into his mouth. "Your hat tickles my gum, Double D!"

"I believe this is going to take a while"

"Double D. I don't like to be ignored" Marie gritted her teeth, struggling to free herself from the clutches of the cacti rope, to no avail.

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the woods, a rather reasonably big gathering with the recognisable residents of the cul-de-sac congregated outside the woods. Apart from Eddy, Sarah, Jimmy, May and Lee, there were two additional people. On the right of Eddy stand the green jumper, bright red hat-wearing twelve year old called Kevin, who called a truce with Eddy after the abuse that Eddy's brother inflicted upon him. They do have their annoyances with each other, but they found that they are quite similar in small aspects such as the want to be 'popular'. Next to Kevin is the immigrant named Rolf, the "Son of the Shepard", who still hasn't been accustomed to the culture of America. Wearing his boy scout uniform with all of his assorted badges such as "Hairy Chest of Resilience Badge", "Don't Bug Me, I'm In The Hammock Badge", "Good Neighbour Badge", of which the Eds tried to attain and failed at one point in time.

They were all yammering and chatting amongst themselves, though it aggravated Lee as she clenched her teeth. "LISTEN UP!"

The chattering halted as they all turned their direction towards Lee like the obedient soldiers, out of fear from a Kanker. Kevin just scoffed a little after the initial fear and began to question rudely "So why are we helping you?"

"Because you are such nice gentlemen and we need man power to rescue my sister" Lee answered back, inching closer intimidatingly.

"...Dork" Kevin said to Eddy, not out of malicious intent, but instead an endearing nickname. "Do you think it is a good idea to help her? We could be screwed out of this after helping them"

"Well... Double D and Ed are in there, so we have no choice. Plus we need to find Jonny and get him for the traps" Eddy responded, shifting his eyes in Kevin's direction, but not wanting to turn his head away from Lee.

"How do we know it's even him?"

"He's the Gourd, duh"

"So are you going to stop yammering on and help me, my little men?" Lee interjected into the conversation.

"...okay" Eddy and Kevin grumbled in union.

"Knew ya would" said Lee, grinning at the expected answer, though she would force them to help her regardless of whether they wanted to or not.

"Rolf shall accompany the ginger haired Kanker girl, for it is Rolf's sworn duty as the member of the Urban Ranger! For it is... wrong of Rolf to ignore a maiden in... you call 'distress" said Rolf valiantly, as he began to salute in the direction of Lee and May, locking his eyes firmly at those two assuring them with trust.

"...Maiden?" Eddy sniggered, baffled at what Rolf called Marie a 'maiden in distress'.

"I have to agree with my little man. Marie is no maiden" said Lee amicably.

"Yeah!" May exclaimed, pushing Lee to the side as he eyed up at Rolf, twirling her hair with her index finger. "I'm the maiden here. With my blonde hair"

"In your dreams. With those buck tooth of yours, you'd be lucky if you can get anyone better than Ed" responded Lee, as she pushed May back who responded with a gruff.

"Rolf shall not waste time as the rest of you are lolly-gagging, for Rolf has a reputation to the family history, as 'Son of the Shepard' and Rolf's ancestry in the 1284 as a group of Shepard's lived in the woods living on nothing but turnip soup. ROLF'S BLOOD FILLED WITH HISTORY WILL HELP ROLF RESCUE THE BRAINY-ED BOY, ED BOY AND BLUE HAIRED KANKER GIRL!"

The heroic and yet confusing speech caught the others out, and couldn't figure out how to reply to a valiant speech filled with a confusing and convoluted history lesson of Rolf's family. Lee didn't care, instead encouraging him "Go ahead, my man. Go and get em!"

"Rolf doesn't belong to you" Rolf said nonchalantly as he marched towards the woods, checking all of his tools; his pocket knife, first aid kit that he keeps in his pocket questionably and tough rope.

"Wow, go on, dude! I SEE YOU HAVE IT FROM HERE" Kevin shouted, as he is about to turn away and walk in the opposite direction, yet came a firm grasp on his shoulder forced him to turn back towards Lee.

"Where do you think you're goin?" asked Lee intimidatingly.

"Uhhhhh... Well, I'd be useless. Rolf can handle it"

"You're going into the forest and you're going to be useful. Now off you go"

"What?"

With the force of a thousand suns, or rather the superior strength that dwells within the Kankers, Lee grabbed onto Kevin with two, firm hands and thrown him into the woods at brute strength, breaking the speed barrier. From a distance, one tree in the woods wobbled and snapped, bringing it down to terra firma, signalling Lee that he's deep into the woods.

"All men need is a little push"

Meanwhile, in the middle of the forest, Edd successfully pulled Ed out of the tree, leaving it with a large gaping hole where the tough exterior of the where he used to be.

"So now we have released you fro.."

"GRRRAAAAAAAAAAH, I SHOULD'VE RAN OFF ON MY BIKE" screamed Kevin, resulted by Lee's action.

"That sounds like Kevin" said Edd, concerned. "We better make haste"

"Okay!" Ed responded, smiling as he began to go into the right direction before Edd stopped him with a disapproving tut.

"To your left, Ed"

Ed quickly rectified, smiling happily as he followed Edd's order, or suggestion as Edd prefers it since he does not see himself as a more authoritative figure, but a helpful hand to Ed's special needs. Ed is now heading in the direction of Kevin's voice and scent, at a more rapid pace leaving behind Edd, though he made no effort to catch up as Edd is not the most athletically capable.

"Oh dear, Ed knows that I am not the one who can keep up to pace with his speed" Edd mumbled to himself, as he began to follow in Ed's tracks, though he was halted by the voice of the young girl dangling from the tree.

"Double D..."

Edd turned to the direction of the voice and realised that Marie was still hanging by the grips of the cacti rope, the spines piercing her skin. Marie, like her siblings, could resist pain at a higher threshold.

"Oh Marie..." acknowledged Edd, as he watched Marie dangling.

"Can you get me down?" asked Marie in a more well-mannered tone, catching out Edd who finds it out of her character to do so.

"...If this is one of your tricks again, because I am more concerned about my own well-being and I need to quickly attend the aid of Kevin"

"...Fine, I'll just wait here for my sisters" Marie responded, reverting to her more brash and rude tone, assuming a more minacious attitude. "Though it will be less painful for you if you do get me down, ovenmitt"

"Are you... threatening me?"

"JUST HELP ME GET DOWN..."

"I refuse to..."

"What?"

Edd gulped, clenching his fist and sweating, finding the courage within himself to repeat those word. "I refuse to help you. It might go against every moral I follow, but when faced with you, I have no qualms breaking those morals"

"Ovenmitt..." Marie was surprised. She did not expect such an answer from Edd, as she always knew him to be the push-over, the upstanding citizen who tries to do what is right, even to his enemies. And this prompted Marie to ponder: Is she more than an enemy to Edd? That thought struck a nail in her heart and instead, overwhelmed her with... anger. Marie cannot deal with rejection or cruelty. She wouldn't let anyone treat her in such a manner. "...How dare you? ONCE I GET DOWN HERE, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY! IT IS LIKE WHAT MY MUM SAYS. ALL MEN ARE THE SAME. And you are just like one of them"

"...Marie" Edd whispered. Their eyes locked and it showed all Marie's emotions. Rejection. Hatred. Spite. For any man, it would scare them away into the next country, all to hide from her wrath. For Edd, he never withered from the radiance of Marie's ire. Never trembled from the possibilities of cruel punishment he may endure. Rather he stood firm and curious in her outrage.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE? RUN! FUCKING RUN!" screamed Marie, waving her arms manically.

"I cannot..."

"Good. At least you're learning your place"

The bushes rustled slightly; and then a voice came out "Yeheyeheyehe, this brings me back to my youth. My first wife was just as bonafide hysterical as this blue hair girl hanging from that tree over there"

Edd and Marie turned their heads towards the direction of the elderly voice, his accent recognised from the region of Texas, like an old kook. Their eyes caught onto a cactus standing upright, his face exposed to see a wrinkly, old man's face, possibly in his seventies.

"...Pray tell, Mr..."' Edd asked, pausing on the word 'Mr.'.

"Cactus Man" responded the old man dressed in a cactus suit.

"Mr. Cactus Man?"

"Yep. Mr. Cactus Man. Or you can call me 'Grandpa', like my grandchildren" responded Cactus Man, before muttering under his breath in a passive-aggressive tone. "Who never sees me"

"I prefer Mr. Cactus Man, if you do not mind"

"No one ever calls me Grandpa"

"Welll, sorry Gramps, but me and dweeb here need some alone time, though I appreciate if you cut me down on the way out so I can teach my boyfriend some manners" Marie interrupted

"I think you got a keeper" He paused. "I wish my wife kept me". He wistfully recalled memories and is overwhelmed with pensive tears. "But she thinks a career in a cactus business is not stable. She says _'Pete dear, why don't you invest in those keys. Every house always need keys and people lose them all the time. Look at me, I'm on my fifty sixth key'. _Usually I'd shut her up when I say 'Make me a sandwich'. I don't know why she didn't appreciate that. Madness!"

"Uhhh. Interesting" Edd mumbled, knowing it was wrong of Cactus Man, but he decided not to bother because he knew how stubbornness in old age still prospers.

"But look at men these days. Pah, not men. Rather pansies with their long hair and non-cactus wrangling ways. Hell, they even care more about make-up. What is the term? Metrosexual? Madness"

Edd and Marie looked at each other, forgetting the argument they had moments ago, replaced with confusion and awkwardness brought on by the old senile Cactus man, ranting on about many trivial things. Usually they would ran away, but Marie is still entrapped and Edd could not find it in himself to abandon the old man, believing that all he wanted was attention.

"I mean, sure, my cactus business isn't making profit. And sure, I lost my house, my wife, my three pet guinea pigs…they are called 'Lock, Stock and Barrel'. Just the heads up. Hey, if you find them again who have those names. Please buy them back for me. I'll be your friend. They must miss Daddy. I fed them cactus and everything!"

"Uh, when did they get lost?" curiously asked Edd

"Oh, about twenty years ago"

"Oh my" replied Edd, knowing the fate of the guinea pigs' biological span spanning around a few years on average. Around six years at best.

"But you know who my best friends shall always be? The one that stuck it out with me?"

"Who?"

"Cactuses"

"Don't you mean Cacti?"

"NO!" exclaimed Cactus Man as he inches in close to Edd passionately-aggressive. "THAT IS OFFENSIVE"

"Apologies"

"Anyway, where was I?" He pondered. "Oh yeah. Since people of your... what shall we say, generation, don't appreciate life. Instead, they rather stay inside with those fangled machines. So I wanted to make them live. Live a little. So I set up all these cactuses traps.. Because Dag Nab It, cactuses can solve everything. Stop a guy from being metrosexual? Throw them a cactus. Wanted to treat that special someone? I think that blue-haired lass would love a cactus. Maybe five cactuses?"

"Awwwww. You're offering to be target practice" smirked Marie.

"Wait, wait?" Edd halted the conversation as something struck out from what Cactus Man has said. _'So I set up all these__ cactus traps'. _Edd inquired about the new revelation "So you are responsible for the placement of the cacti traps throughout our region?"

"Are you deaf, boy? If I said it, that means I'm telling the truth. I never lie. Well, maybe except that time when I bought my ex-wife one of those herbal stuff for her allergies. I mean, back in those days, allergy pills from the clinics were $3. I can get five beers with that! So that's what I did. And my wife, well... she looked more uglier in the morning than usual, but it was well worth the five beers"

"Well, we know why she is an ex now" bluntly said Marie, rolling her eyes.

"Regardless of his... spotty mannerism and politically incorrect attitudes, we now have the knowledge of the culprit. And Eddy, as per usual, tries to blame someone else" sighed Edd.

"Hey, ovenmitt. Get me down please. I feel like pulverising that old bastard"

"Marie. Watch your language. We are in a presence of our elder. We should be choosing our words carefully. Though I think at this rate, we need to be contacting the authorities"

"Oh nu-uh. I'm already being chased by a weird bald kid and that piece of wood. I'm not havin the blue mobile after me either." spat Cactus Man, rushing past Marie and Edd in haste. "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME"

"That's it. Get me down, he's not getting away" said Marie angrily, shaking her arms manically once again.

"I suppose I have to. I do need your help" said Edd agreeably, readying his foot on the tree and climbed up the tree with both arms. As he climbed up slow and steady, he reached onto the branch of the tree and successfully got a foothold, balancing himself. Inching close, he reached out his arm in help towards Marie, which she grabbed violently and squeezed with no restraint in her strength. "You're... hurting me"

"...Thank you" Marie whispered to Edd, her eyes locked with him once again. He felt something other than anger. Generosity. Yet a second later, Edd felt a whack from her fist, reverting back to her old self once again. "Don't do that again"

"I won't" Edd grumbled.


	5. Year One: Ed Foolery Trap IV

Meanwhile, Ed galloped, or rather ran in his signature manner with his arms dragged backwards and his torso hunched backwards as if his legs are pulling him forward, to Kevin's aid. Time and time again, the tree with the crooked branch caught Ed's eye, but being the most oblivious he hasn't caught on that he is running in a circular route and not progressing forward.

"Kevin! Kevin! Where are you?" Ed called out, though his eyes fixed on a single path instead of shifting and scanning his surroundings, otherwise he would have noticed another soul aside himself, the 'Son of the Shepard', Rolf, watching in curiosity of the Ed following the same route.

"Ed boy. What is this foolery? Is this another of this country's strange traditions?" Rolf asks.

"I'm looking for Kevin" responded Ed without noticing whom he is actually answering to, given his oblivious nature

"Hmm. Rolf assumes you need some... what would the brainy Ed boy say? 'Assistance?"

"Oh, I didn't know you were here, Double D!" mistakenly called out Ed because of his assumption on the word 'assistance' used by his friend, Edd. As Ed is accustomed to the more complex 'synonym' words of his best friend, whenever a complex word comes into a conversation reminds him of Double D. "But you sound strange, like Rolf".

"Rolf's accent is not strange" responded Rolf, insulted.

"You don't think so, Double D?"

"Rolf is not this Double D"

Ed did not pause, rather he instead still continue his ill-attempted search for Kevin, adamant that he will find him if he persevere. A rustle from the bushes was heard by Rolf, which he initiated in his defensive stance with his pocket knife and rope ready. His eyes stare into the bush like a hawk onto his prey. He awaited, readying to plunge onto whomever or whatever comes from the bush.

"Rolf!" came out Kevin's voice. He stepped out of the bush; Kevin inflicted with scratches and tears amongst his green jumper and red shorts and a piece of a green cacti lodged into his hat. Withal, Rolf did not delay his attack, pouncing onto the injured Kevin and a series of flurries unleashed. A matter of seconds and Kevin's hands are tied with rope in a 'Figure Eight': The strongest knot in a loop known to all Urban Rangers. "Rolf! It's me, Kevin!"

"Oh, Cassanova Kevin-Boy" Rolf said with a innocent smile on his face, though it quickly turned to a regretful frown. "Rolf do apologise, but... Rolf can never be sure, as the Shepards of 1284 shall always pounce on each other if they... reunite as the Shepards always make their own direction around the woods"

"Doesn't it get tiring for them?" asked Kevin.

"The Shepards can never be too sure. Because of those turnip eaters. Those vermins who seek to take my ancestor's turnips! AND IF IT SHALL COME TO HARMING THOSE WHO ARE CLOSE TO US TO PROTECT OUR TURNIPS, THEN SO BE IT"

Kevin became speechless and frightened to continue the speech onwards. Each time Rolf share with the cul-de-sac another of his family history, they have becoming increasingly convoluted and frightening. "Next time my parents wants to go on a family holiday, Rolf's country is off-limits" Kevin mumbled to himself

"What was that, Kevin-Boy?" Rolf asked as he freed Kevin from the rope with his above-extraordinary skills that he has learned from his time in the Urban Rangers.

"Oh, nothing!" responded Kevin defensively, standing up as he rubbed his wrists tenderly. Watching Ed still running around the same route over and over again, he asked "Hey, dork! What are you doing?"

Ed responded pre-emptively in the same manner as towards Rolf "I'm looking for Kevin!"

"Dude, I'm here..."

Ed stopped in his tracks and his body turned towards the direction of Kevin, his head followed along. Spotting Kevin, he grinned as wide as the Cheshire Cat, with the frightening nightmare that is his gums. "KEVIN!"

"WOAH. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" Kevin exclaimed, turning his head away in horror.

"Ed Boy, the lack of teeth are worse than Nana's bunion feet" Rolf said, though the information was unneeded to Kevin.

"Dude. Be easy on me. I get thrown in the tree by that Kanker. I have a cactus lodged in my head. And now, I don't want to sleep tonight" Kevin complained, aghast about what could be the two utmost frightening imagery for his day, or for the rest of his life.

"If the Kevin Boy and Ed Boy were in old country, Rolf would wager that you wouldn't last pass the turnips"

"Anyway. Hey, Ed" Kevin asked Ed, in which Ed responded with a 'hm', giving his full attention. "Where is Double D and that Kanker?"

"I thought Double D was following me. Marie is hanging in the tree like a Butterfly". Ed pulled a dopey smile with a hint of jealousy. "I'm so jealous of her. I'd like to be the butterfly!"

The bushes rustle slightly and Rolf assumed his attack stance once again, though a slight tap on the shoulder from Kevin had him resume to his normal stance to avoid another of those incident. The boys waited for the one who would come out of the bushes. And alas someone have done, Jonny 2x4, clutching onto Plank on his right side.

"Plank, I can't find that moving cactus if you don't talk to me!" Jonny2x4 complained to Plank. His attention caught the other boys, which he looked at them with slightly angry eyes. It's no surprise as Jonny2x4 fell out of neutrality with the cul-de-sac crew ever since they attacked Jonny2x4 to defend Eddy, but it was not Jonny2x4 as he just wanted to be a hero. Nowadays, Jonny2x4 shows bitterness, yet inside of him, he yearns to be friends with the others again. "What are you doing here?"

"Jonny? Why are you in here?" Kevin asked. He was deeply curious as to why he was here, though he had his suspicions. Kevin, nor anyone, hasn't forget his first few attempts as the gourd.

"Hey, Plank? What should I say?" Jonny2x4 asked Plank. He awaited for a 'perceived' response, but his frowning expression gave confirmation. "Plank is ignoring me, so... I'm here to look for the moving cactus because it looks suspicious"

"Moving cactus? Oh god, I knew it was you. You're the one who set up all these traps" Kevin accused Jonny2x4 of the accursed cacti traps.

"What traps? I don't know any traps. Plank, what should I do?" Jonny2x4 asked Plank once again, yet this time, Jonny2x4 smiled instead. "Ah good idea, Plank! Plank says that I have the right to remain silence!"

"Enough with the foolery" Rolf exclaimed. "Jonny the Woodboy. We, citizens of the cul-de-sac, believe that you are... the culprit, yes?"

"But it wasn't me, Rolf. Me and Plank think it's the moving cactus!" Jonny replied in panic, sweating profusely.

"Ho, Ho, Ho. That is... a load of foolery, yes? We do not believe there is... a moving cactus?"

As Rolf finished his sentence, Cactus Man rushed passed the boys coincidentally, hopping frantically in his suit. Judging by the movement of Cactus Man, he must have wore the suit like any piece of clothing, explaining why he have the stamina to hop, stand still and eat his meals.

"You'll never... catch... Oh Dag Nab It. I need to go for a whizz!" Cactus Man halted in his tracks. All he found were the other boys: Ed, Rolf, Jonny2x4 and Kevin. "Oh more of you kids! The time I want to do something and you kids are frolicking around!"

Rolf locked eyes at Cactus Man, surprised. "Why didn't you boys tell Rolf that your country's tradition is wearing cactus! Oh how it reminds me of Old Country. Rolf's family wore our turnips proudly, after we strip our clothes off our backs"

"You are sick" grumbled Cactus Man disapprovingly at Rolf, shuddering at the thought of any other vegetable being worn.

"Well, in Old Country, it's our proud tradition" Rolf huffed.

"Oh you... foreign... people. Coming in, stealing my cactus! I LOST ALL OF MY GOLD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Hey, uhhhh... Gramps?" Kevin interrupted the animosity between Cactus Man and Rolf.

"Gramps?! Hey, little kid. Would you like to be my new addition of grandchildren? I'll feed you cactus. A growing lad like you need all those greens!" Cactus Man said happily, inching closer into Kevin's personal space. "Please, I'm so lonely"

"Uh. Dude. I already have grandparents" Kevin stepped backwards to regain his personal space.

"Oh, every kid I meet already have grandparents" Cactus Man frowning solemnly.

Jonny2x4 pointed at Cactus Man with firm conviction. "Plank asks if you are the one who is setting up all these green trap!"

"Green traps? Whatcha talkin' about? I set up cactuses traps! CACTUSES. You kids and your lack of appreciation for cactus. Back in my days, when I was a little child, everyone knew about cactuses. Now! Everyone prefer those fangled machine. Sure, it can calculate the watchmacallit and dohickey, but can it last as long as a cactus? NO! You're as bad as my wife who keeps saying to me _"Oh pete dear, why don't you invest in these computers. Everyone needs computer, look at me, I want that computer with 20 gigawatts and 50 computamacallit RAM?"_, and worse of all, SHE STILL HASN'T MADE ME THAT STEW! Madness!"

The boys stood silent once again. How could they deal with a old man ranting on, especially so fast and so unintelligible to the point that they have no words to say. Yet Kevin just slowly smirked. "I think we have found our culprit"

"Oh... Well, I certainly don't need that whizz any more" smiled Cactus Man with relief, the boys caught on what he certainly meant.

"Oh dude!"

"Hey Plank! I'm not the only one who wets myself!"

"You have no control, Old Green-Wearing Man!"

"I'm a big boy that I don't wet myself"

"Oh you kids know nothing. When you get to my age and wearing a cactus suit, try holding onto your bladders then!" Cactus Man responded, hopping away past the kids, though they were not willing to lose sight of him.

"Hey, you're not getting away!" Kevin spat, following his tail.

"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU BRATS!"

Yet as the young men attempt an effort to not let Cactus Man out of their sights, Marie and Edd are already closing in onto them, hiding behind one of the many large oak trees a few metres away. Edd wanted to not cause any harm to the old man, but Marie thought of other plans, as her patience started to wear thin with the cacti traps and Cactus Man's endeavour to escape after the disaster that he has wrought.

"Marie, you aren't going to cause any harm to this... gentlemen, if that is the right word" Edd questioned Marie, still dubious of her intentions.

"Dreamboat. Two things. He is not a gentlemen and I cannot guarantee that I won't punch him in the face" Marie mumbled as her eyes locked onto Cactus Man as her prey.

"Please" Edd put his hand on her shoulder without realising. "Promise me"

Marie sighed, knowing that she cannot ignore Edd's act of kind gesture. She'd never understand why Edd is such a forgiving gentlemen towards those who commit ill acts, but to her, it is Edd. Double D. Her property, as she dubs him. She can reject his request, but she felt that she has to abide by it for once. "Okay, overnmitt. I won't harm him"

"I appreciate it" smiled Edd.

"But I have to capture him at least"

"That is acceptable. There's nothing we can do about that"

"Okay. On the count of three. One. Two..."

Whilst Marie was counting up to three and rush in to capture Cactus Man, Eddy, Lee, May, Sarah and Jimmy were at the other side, hiding behind another of the many oak trees and were also closing in onto the group of kids alongside cactus man. Eddy's target wasn't of Cactus Man, but Jonny 2x4, still firm in his belief that Jonny2x4 is the culprit behind the traps.

"There's our target" Eddy whispered, getting ready to pounce on his target.

"Uh, little man. Are you sure about this?" Lee asked Eddy.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure. He's the gourd"

"But Mr. Eddy". Jimmy noticed that Jonny2x4 wasn't wearing his gourd costume, having doubts about Eddy's accusation. "He's not wearing the Gourd Costume"

"Doesn't mean he isn't behind these traps. Now be quiet, I'm going to count to three. One. Two..."

"Sarah. What should we do?" Jimmy turned his head towards Sarah, panicking.

"I'm going to watch. This looks fun" Sarah responded with a evil smile.

"I've gotta say, I have to agree with you" said Lee with a smirk.

And both Eddy and Marie finally counted to the last number in the first three numbers to set off to capture their targets. "THREE!" They both shouted, as each began to pounce in slow motion, with that certain familiar classical song, as their facial expression turns slowly into a frantic, crazed one with Eddy's tongue sticking out and Marie's eyes of sadistic desire popping out. Cactus Man and Jonny2x4 both turned towards their attacker, shocked and made an attempt to escape. But it was too late. Cactus Man was grappled by Marie, ripping off his entire suit and leaving behind a shrivel naked man with a bit of a gut. And Jonny2x4 was grabbed by Eddy, a series of cartoonish 'pow', 'slam' and 'kick' sound effects. A series of unintelligible natters followed afterwards.

Some time has passed and the children of the cul-de-sac are outside of the woods, chattering amongst themselves on their success as they surrounded cactus man, who was tied in the 'figure eight' knot and placed in a black tyre, an similar situation that Jonny 2x4 found himself once in. Jonny 2x4 was metres away from the children, kicking the pebble on the floor and slightly injured from his incident with Eddy. He is still upset, feeling betrayed again like his last moments as the heroic Captain Melondhead. Yet Edd and Eddy walked over to Jonny2x4, with Eddy himself mumbling the words he dislikes to say.

"Sorry"

"Uh, what?" Jonny turned his head around towards Eddy.

"I believe what he is trying to say that he apologise, isn't that right, Eddy?" said Edd, staring at Eddy to make sure he makes the right choice.

"Yeah, yeah. Look, I'm sorry. I got... a bit carried away" Eddy looked away, not wanting to make eye-contact, but he's genuine in his apology and find it hard to express.

"What do you lot care? I wanted to help and be the hero. You were the villains. And what do I get? Smacked around. That time when I was the gourd? I wanted to get revenge, but it was such hard work being evil. So I stopped being the gourd. But... I felt so left out, you know. Seeing you two and Ed over there being accepted... Urgh, even Plank doesn't talk to me all the time. Everyone hates me"

"There. There" Edd gave a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Dude". Kevin walked over to Jonny 2x4. "We don't hate you"

"Huh, you don't?" Jonny2x4 stared back with surprise.

"Oh come now" Edd interrupted. "Why would we hate you? I empathise with you and it would feel wrong for me, Ed and Eddy to show such venomous hate towards a person such as yourself who was in our situation just moments ago"

"What sockhead just said" said Eddy smiling. "I feel you and yeah, I show it in my own crummy way. But... come on, at least you found out that no one hates you. This means a new beginning!"

"What the small edboy just said" Rolf chimed in. "Jonny the Woodboy. No use crying over... spilt milk, yes? The time is now!"

"Oh... Oh..." Jonny2x4 began to leak tears from his eyes, falling from his cheeks onto the floor. "Oh you... guys"

"Jonny... Here's my handkerchief" Edd handed Jonny 2x4 a handkerchief, which he grabbed and wiped his tears away.

"Gaaaaaaaah. Damn you rotten women. You're as bad as my ex-wiiiiiiiiffffff" screamed Cactus Man, who was rolling down in the black tyre across the cul-de-sac at blistering speed, disappearing into the distance. All was left is the three girls giggling amongst themselves at the amusement, which prompted a disapproving comment from Edd.

"Oh dear, we were suppose to contact the authorities. How could you do this?"

"Oh ovenmitt. I promised not to harm him. It was Lee's idea" Marie responded playfully.

"Only because Marie here didn't want to break that little promise. Dunno why. Men break their promises, so why shouldn't we?" Lee twirled her hair, confused at her sister's stranger loyalty to that promise.

"Don't worry. It is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And I think ovenmitt here needs his once-in-a-lifetime thing" Marie picked out from her pocket her red coloured lipstick and began to apply it to her lips. "Just for you"

"Oh my... Marie, it's not necessary, really..." Edd taken a few step backwards.

"Hey, Marie. Lend me that, will ya?" May joined in with the girls, snatching the red lipstick away from Marie.

"HEY, GET YOUR OWN" Marie snapped back, snatching it away.

"If anyone needs it, it's me" Lee interrupted, snatching the red lipstick from Marie's grasp.

"Oh, don't make me come there and slap you" Marie growled.

"I dare you to"

As the Kanker Sisters began to prattle amongst themselves about the entitlement of the red lipstick, little did they realise that the Ed boys already made their escape. They ran in the direction of Ed's house, running around the back of his house where the torn down oak tree in his back garden still made its appearance. Ed began to crawl in through his window to his basement bedroom, with Edd and Eddy crawling in after him.

Ed's bedroom still stayed the same, with the boat of gravy in his personal bathroom, the mouldy torn bed and the large 32" zony television in the corner. Free from the risk of being personally invaded by the Kankers, Eddy landed himself onto Ed's mouldy bed.

"Seconds later and we would've been goners" sighed Eddy.

"Well" Edd reached his hand into his hand and dig into his personal belongings, bringing out a picnic sheet to lay it out on Ed's floor. Edd is very conscious of his own personal hygiene and Ed's room is the polar opposite of a clean room that he is accustomed to. "Count us lucky it was the case"

"I'm beat, well... I better ask Mum to go to the dentist" Ed yawned and his gums exposed once again, walking pass the door and up the stairs., leaving Edd and Eddy.

"Well, I better hide out here for a little while and head straight back home. Seriously, we wasted so much time and I haven't been to Key Lime Mall in a week. Stupid old man planning those stupid cactuses traps. YES, I SAID CACTUSES. SUE ME!"Eddy ranted on, though Edd wasn't paying attention, but rather self-absorbed in his own thoughts. He came to a recollection of Marie's outburst when she fell victim to the traps in the woods.

_"...How dare you? ONCE I GET DOWN HERE, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY! IT IS LIKE WHAT MY MUM SAYS. ALL MEN ARE THE SAME. And you are just like one of them" _

Marie's outburst stuck out as the biggest mystery. Was there a hint of complexity underneath her tough girl exterior? Even more puzzling to Edd is Marie's honour of a promise that Edd asked her to keep and the hint of kindness she has portrayed. Edd has noticed three mood changes in the matter of a single moment. Her attitude as a Kanker towards him. Her outburst and wrath. And her moments of kindness.

_Marie... What are you really like? _

* * *

**Author Notes #2:** pastebin.(com/)MzMX8w8Y (aka Fanfiction needs a separate hidden box for Author's Notes).


	6. Year One: Ed True Colours

The hectic afternoon that transpire upon the cul-de-sac has became the halcyon evening. The skies dim to a evening blue as the sun receding into its slumber. The residents of the cul-de-sac decided to head back to their home, as it has been a long day. Kevin needed to recuperate from his injuries inflicted by the Kanker Sisters. Rolf already awarded himself with a badge. Two badges in fact: "Rescue a Fair Maiden in Distress" and "Hogtie an OAP", though the last badge could reflect badly upon the Urban Rangers. Yet Rolf wanted to celebrate and has in mind a gigantic feast. Jimmy and Sarah bid their farewells to each other and await another exciting day of playtime. Jonny 2x4 was finally able to return to his home in the evening, as his parents allowed him to.

The Kanker Sisters were already nestled into their home; a small trailer in the trailer park that is not too far from the cul-de-sac. The white paint on the bumper of the trailer and on the door cracked and shards fell off to reveal a bronze rust to it. Inside the Kankers' Trailer lies a large living room and kitchen combined, with a medium-size green couch, white rug and a large book cabinet next which host all assorted female gossip magazines that extends as back as the early 2000s. A large anvil is hanged up on the wall besides the window. The trailer is a peculiar one, as it's much bigger on the inside than it's perceived from the outside.

Lee laid on the sofa with her feet up onto the sofa's arms, as her head is turned to the television; a small white CRT TV. Lee imposed herself as the leader of the pack and always has first choice on the sofa, despite arguments from her sisters. Marie found comfort on the white rug, laying on her belly with her arms supporting her head.

May is in the kitchen, away from the girls as she was in charge of the cooking as appointed by Lee. The greasy aroma of cut-rate hot dogs perpetuated by the high temperature oil ensured it remains in the atmosphere. For the girls, it was a homely atmosphere.

"Hey, Marie" Lee's head still locked to the television, watching a competition about upcoming singers to impress the judges.

"Yeah?" Marie responded, her eyes glued to the television like Lee.

"Can I ask you somethin?"

"None of your beeswax" Marie did not want to be disturbed by a petty question, instead focusing her attention on the competition.

"C'mon. It's a simple question... unless you got somethin to hide?"

"Fine" Marie sighed and turned her head towards Lee to spare her attention. "Shoot"

"You made a promise. How come?"

"Are you talking about my love muffin?" Marie noticed the stare from Lee, a stare of judgement, that she assume her defensive attitude. "I haven't seen the light or anything. I thought I might throw him a bone or something. I'm still in control"

Lee's eyebrows raised at Marie's statement. "Oh okay. Just making sure you haven't forgot mum's lesson"

"Yeah. Yeah" Marie waved Lee off as she resumed her attention towards the television once again.

"I'm serious"

"Cram it. I got this" Marie grown more tiresome of Lee being the protective, older sister mode, but she knew she isn't going to let it up.

"..."

The two sisters have nothing more to say to each other. Why would they exhaust a discussion that neither one wants to get into without a bit of a sisterly scuffle? Lee is content that Marie is not ignorant on her mother's lesson and Marie is content that Lee has eased up on the questions. Not another word uttered from their mouth and the source of noises are pop beats and high-pitch notes from the television and the oil sizzling the hot dogs alive.

Then the oil stop popping.

"DINNER IS READY!"

May barged into the living room just a few short moments after with a large blue swirl-pattern plate of the greasiest and oiliest hot dogs that could cause a health fit geek to fall into cardiac arrest. For the Kanker's sisters, it was an almost everyday breakfast, lunch and dinner that fit in their average budget. May cushioned herself onto the sofa alongside Lee, crushing her legs with her backside.

"OUCH" Lee snatched the plate away from May and pushed her to the floor. "I was just relaxin until your butt smushed my tired legs"

"Tired?" May snapped. "I've been cooking these hot dogs... You know, like everyday? Sheesh, I wish I was like you"

"Haha, you have to be the certain type of person to be like me" said Lee as she grabbed the oiliest hot dog of the bunch to feed herself with.

"Hey. That's mine! I made sure to put extra oil to make it greasy!"

"Sheeh, May. I'm surprised your heart hasn't gave out" Marie interrupted, swiping a hot dog from the plate and turned back to the television.

"At least I have one" May retorted.

"Now, now, May. We all know that Marie has the bigger heart today" Lee joked, referencing the promise that Marie made to Edd.

"All I did was to not harm that old bastard."

"I think..." May grabbed a flash light out from nowhere and flashed it upon her face to tell a creepy revelation. "Double D rubbing off on her. Next, she will be saying 'How do you do' and 'What a nice day we're all having, Gentlemen'"

"Hahaha, good one!" Lee burst out laughing at that statement and May made no delay to join in, which prompted a gruff from Marie.

"Yeah. Yeah. Laugh it up. Just wait until you sleep"

"It was worth it" Lee took a bite out of the hot dog, chewing slowly before her taste buds rejected the taste. "...May, this taste more like oil than hot dog"

"Well I like it" May shouted defensively but her mouth was stuffed with the oiliest hot dog that Lee took a bite out of.

"Bon appetite... is what the English would say"

"Don't you mean 'French'?" Marie corrected Lee.

"Careful. You're growing a sock on that blue hair of yours"

"Oh sue me!" Marie yelped. "It's not like your boyfriends rubbed off on you"

"Nope. I'm still the same" Lee stretched out her arms.

"I wish Ed rubbed off on me" solemnly mumbled May, looking over through the window. "My back needs clicking"

Marie sighed at May misinterpreting the statement, though it is par for the course as May usually does misinterpret many questions presented. Instead of trying to correct her, she has decided to opt for the ignore route. "Anyway, cram it"

"Fine. Fine" Lee decided to ease up on the sibling teasing, yet felt she wanted her curiosity satisfied. She wanted to ask one more question. "But last question, sis"

"Okay. Fine. Just shoot your stupid question so we can get it over with" Marie groaned.

"Why do you like him?" Lee asked a question to Marie, catching her completely off-guard. Even May perked in curiosity. Neither sister's really got an answer as to why Marie, a young woman who proclaims that bad guys with muscles and scent of motor oil are her ultimate type, would go for a young, scrawny man who treats the encyclopedia as his mantra. It was understandable why Lee would go for Eddy and May for Ed respectively. Lee took an interest in Eddy because of his devious intellect and May took an interest in Ed because like herself, Ed wasn't winning himself any awards for intelligence discounting the spelling bee award. Yet Marie, who have very little correlating interests or traits with Edd, have decided to pursue him.

"Like who? Double D?" Marie murmured.

"Yeah. Don't you love your men with a bit of motor oil?"

"So?"

"Last time I checked, that dweeb isn't bathed in motor oil"

"Yeah! He's like bathed in... lavender!" May interrupted in a gargle manner, still chewing onto her hot dog.

"I like him because he's an easy target. Nothing more" Marie responded nonchalantly, her eyes glued to the television as she munched onto her hot dog.

"Easy target?" asked Lee

"Yeah" Marie swallowed her first bite. "Oven Mitt won't stand up for himself. He will always try to please others. Once I get him wrapped around my finger, then my life is set. You two are chasing after men that could be failures when they grow older. I'm chasing my man who could be set for life"

"Hey! At least my man won't be boring" May snapped at Marie.

"Yeah. I'd hate to be in your shoes, Marie. It sounds like a boring adult life. Let's face it, your boyfriend is kinda... boring" Lee admitted

"This is gonna be bitchin' in fifteen years. I'll be in a roomy apartment whilst my soon-to-be husband and you two will still be in trailer parks" Marie laughed at the prospect of Lee and May both being below her feet. Below the class line. "And when oven mitt wins the nobel prize, I'd be living it up with shopping and booze! And best of all, my oven mitt will still appease to me. You see, the difference between me and you two is that you think of the present. I think of the future!"

"Yeah. That is fine and dandy unless someone like Nazz gets her hands on him" Lee pointed out, shattering Marie's future.

"What about that prissy little miss perfect? She's on her holiday somewhere in Europe. Plenty of time to ensure my dominance" Marie snapped back on the defensive with venomous hate towards that name. Nazz. The mere mention of her makes Marie's blood boil with jealousy and rage.

"She will come back. Remember, we have a few days left until school. She'll be in that school and your boyfriend

will have his eyes set for her. Better kiss your dreams goodbye!"

"Wait, wait" May interrupted once again. She became shock after hearing the revelation that Lee uttered. "SCHOOL IS IN A FEW DAYS? Awww, summer holidays goes so fast"

"Don't worry, May" Lee patted May's shoulder comfortingly. "We'll just hang around in the boiler room like usual"

"You two can do that. I have to plan for the future" Marie lifted herself up from the white rug, stretching her arms lazily, and proceeded to make her away to the stairs. Her face is turned away from her sisters, but a glance at her face shows a facial expression of manipulations and scheming. Marie felt that she has slacked off quite a bit in her escapade to ensure dominance over Edd. She has not even forgot the two moments where she has succumbed to him.

The moment he stood up to her when she fell to the trap.

The moment Marie gave in to the promise that Edd wanted.

She shudders at the idea of being in servitude or even considered as equals to a man. She likens to the idea of always being the dominant one. Always the top dog in the relationship. She has chosen Edd because she can see a future in which Edd will always bend to her will. And that is the future she wants to heavily invest in.

_And with enough careful planning, no one would dare to take him away from me. _

* * *

**Authors Note #3: ** pastebin.(com/)cE7mYcR2**  
**


	7. Year One: Ed To The Mall I

"Hahaha. My most favourite place in the world. Key Lime Mall" exclaimed Eddy, turning around to face the two Eds in a wide-arm stance, imaginary fireworks of red, blue and yellow exploding into the background. This was on par for the course, Eddy always enters the Key Lime Mall with such an ecstatic attitude.

"Whilst I appreciate the enthusiasm, is it really necessary to express upon every moment we visit the Mall?" Edd sighed.

"What are you saying?!" Eddy gazed upon the entrance of Key Lime Mall; a pair of marble-emerald pillars and an entrance stood in-between, with a large, dark brown sign just above that is written "Key Lime Mall" looming over the marble-white pristine flooring, overshadowed by a fancy entrance. "This entrance here... is our ticket to... scamming my most favourite kinds of customers"

"Oh dear" Edd rolled his eyes

"GUILABLE SHOPPERS" Eddy's eyes turned, his eyes snapped into dollar signs.

"Even if they are gullible, I doubt they are gullible enough to fall trap to your latest scam"

"What?" Eddy was pulling a red cart filled with over ten crates of bottled water with a crude doctored drawing of Eddy with a mustache and a monocle. "I think this is the best scam idea yet"

"Really?" Edd sighed heavily. "The brilliant scam you intelligently come up with is the sacred water that has been filled by your supposed ancestor called "Sir Edward Fortesque" who has found the mystical fountain of Peach Creek that has been lost for centuries and stored the contents in these plastic bottles that were, I might add, also sacred. I'm sure the well-founded history lesson will convince the legitimacy of our sacred water!"

"Glad you agre..." Eddy caught onto Edd's sarcastic tone. "Wait, are you being sarcastic?"

"I apologize, but this history explanation is very spotty at best. Plastic Bottles were available commercially in 1947. There are no documented records of 'Sir Edward Fortesque' nor of the illusive sacred fountain. People will catch onto you"

"Sockhead. Sockhead. Sockhead. The mall contains more stupid people than you think. Trust me, it will work"

"OOOH, SACRED WATER FROM SIR EDWARD FORTESQUE? He's my hero. I'll take fourty!" Ed stared at the sacred water bottles with wide-eye desires.

"You see. It worked on him!"

"...Ed is not the best of examples" Edd sighed once again. The scam that Eddy came up with, despite the disapproval and hole-prodding from Edd's intellect, did nothing to deter him from eventually suffering the consequences of such a flawed plan. But then, Edd thought that maybe Eddy will get the hint on his 139th time and hang up the scams for good. A quick look on Eddy's businessman content look doesn't hold much hope for Edd.

"Well, when it does work, I'm going to be laughing at you as I roll around in those sucker's change". Eddy marched on forth, clicking his fingers whilst Ed pulled the cart of 'sacred water' along obediently. Edd followed on, feeling as he has no choice, almost like with every scam conjured and crashed consecutively.

The Ed boys walked past the door into the Keylime Mall, the largest mall of the tri-state county. Stores laid out next to each other in a presentation of insatiable appetite; youths and adults can spend countless hours and yet felt like it were not enough to experience all it has to offer. Videogames. Clothing. Shoe-wear. Cards. Jawbreakers. More clothing. Everything that an average teenager want.

"Eddy. Double D" Ed was in deep thought, a state that concerns Edd at times, because it sometimes can be followed up by something bad. "Do you think the tales of Keylime Mall are true?"

"What?" Eddy turned towards Ed. "What tales?"

"Do you not remember, Eddy?" Edd chimed in, quietly giggling at the subject matter: 'The Tales of Keylime Mall', one tale that seem exaggerated and ludicrous to have some merit. "If I can recall, the tale was about Keylime Mall and its limitless expansion of the businesses. They state that every time you so much as blink, three new stores open"

"But Double D" Ed interrupted. "The biggest mystery is the fourth store that open and closes when you blink! And so the legend goes"

"That is ludicrous. It takes so much time and effort in preparation to create a business. Demographic. Budget. Planning permission. All that and more."

"Wow... We must be legendary!" Eddy responded with a hint of surprise, despite failing to come to a realisation that scam businesses 'are nary an equivalent to the corporation chain markets that monopolises the shopping malls'. Edd instead let out a huge groan instead of taking the time to explain the flaws in Eddy's statement. Alternatively he wishes to leave it in the hands of probability that skewers in the favour of failure.

The Ed boys have made their way through the crowd, with Ed pulling the cart of 'sacred water', ensuring it's not knocking into any unfortunate by-standers. He's unsuccessful in that endeavour as individuals within the crowd let out a yelp of pain. "Sorry" Ed apologised repeatedly to many of the unfortunate individuals who have been graced with the sharp corners of the cart.

"Ed you idiot. Be care..." _Thump! _Eddy collided with an obese man. As Eddy taken a moment to reorient himself from the sudden collision, he came to find that the obese man is a security guard. An african-American man with the traditional blue-collar shirt and black trousers, complete with a 'Key-Lime Mall' security badge. When in presence of a security guard, children would usually revert to a frightened, overly polite demeanour, yet Eddy responded with a wide-smirk. "Bumbles! My good man!"

"Eddy? Sorry I didn't see you there" Bumbles let out a ragged yawn, one that results from a lack of sleep. "That was a long night"

"Wow, you pulled an all-nighter?" Eddy's grin filled with pride in Bumbles. "I bet you did something grand!"

"Uh... Well, Mama's having a small bladder, so I had to take her to the bathroom" Bumbles' head notched down into a body language of sadness and disgust. "I changed my clothes three times"

"Have to cut the conversation short. We're doing... kid's stuff" Eddy switched the conversation, for the sake of his own sanity. Edd have an expression as if the words uttered from Bumbles traumatised him deeply; no words could echo the horrific night that the security guard endured.

"Wait, Eddy" Bumbles has his eyes set on the cart of 'sacred water' Ed has tugged along. "What is this?"

"Well... That is... uh" Eddy fumbled, coming up with a convincing lie to not risk getting removed from the premise. "That is... uh"

"That is Sir Edward Fortesque's sacred water, Bumbles!" Ed shouted enthusiastically, prompting a death glare from Eddy.

"Sir Edward... Fortesque?" Bumbles questioned in his confusion.

"Sacred Water from a fountain in Peach Creek that was never found. Very valuable. A bargain not to be missed" Eddy dragged Ed along with him, making no eye contact with the security guard as he ensures the cart is not within reach

He asked again ,"Why was it never found?"

"Because a giant robot destroyed it" Eddy blurted out, making any possible excuse. Unbeknown to Eddy, a sudden enthusiasm came over Bumbles.

"So the tales are true. There was a 50ft intergalactic robot made out of intergalactic space steel"

"What?" Edd expected many responses to happen after that excuse: being laughed out of the mall, confiscating the water or even a belittling pat on the head as he was amused by such a flawed scam. This response was not one of them.

"50ft intergalactic robot?" Ed prompted Bumbles, the subject overwhelmed him with interest.

"The 50ft intergalactic robot came to this planet centuries ago... and it drank a large source of water within Peach Creek. There was a water shortage for three years... and cowboy hat shortages too. The material powered up its nuclear fusion core and with that, he blasted off into space once again. And it were never seen again"

"...Yeah. That's what happened. We're... selling the last remains of the sacred water" Eddy ran with the excuse, appealing to Bumbles' gullible nature. "As you can see, we should not deprive the importance of the sacred water that Peach Creek is known for. We must share it with the citizens. We must remind them how important it is. Don't you see, Bumbles. This is our chance!"

"You are right..." Bumbles' tears ran down his face, the passion he perceived in Eddy to be inspiring. "I will help you share this gift with everyone here."

"You will?" Eddy responded with shock

"Really?" Edd could not think of anything more to say. No criticism. No advice. One of Eddy's most flawed plan and it has managed to convince an adult, who duty is to ensure the safety of the Mall's visitors, to unknowingly aid in a scam. "Well... I'm going to part ways and browse the astronomy section in the book store"

"Hey sockhead. I thought you were going to help me?"

"All the advice that I can give to you won't save this plan"

"Well... Make sure to grab a burger for me!"

"And put gravy on mine, Double D" Ed shouted. Any explanation Edd gave would fall on deaf ears, but to his mind, it is always mustard on the burger.

"Will do" And with that, Edd was out of sight, leaving the last two Eds and the security guard.

"Wow... I can't remember the last sca... I mean, sales we did without Double D" Eddy caught himself with the word 'scam' as to not elude Bumbles of his true intentions. He nudged his elbow pleasantly towards Bumbles' stomach. "But hey, we have an adult here, so we won out better, ammirite Bumbles?"

"Will this get me in trouble, Eddy? I don't want Mama to take away my Mech Morphers limited edition action figures" Bumbles mumbled; a statement that to many witnesses would treat him less than an adult.

"...eh, close enough" Eddy reassures himself.

Meanwhile, Edd found himself browsing in the astronomy section of the bookstore; the collection of books paled in comparison to the impossibly large selection of teen romance novels next over from the section, much to his annoyance. The books in the section were plain in colour, greys, blacks and reds, whereas the teen romance sections hosted the more bright colours, more inviting to love-struck teenage girls. It became a distraction for Edd as he questioned the manager's intention with the layout for the bookstore. He felt it was a crime to put non-fiction and fiction so closely together.

"Oh dear. I better restrain myself from rearranging the layout of this store" Edd mumbled to himself, instead scanning the shelves. "So many materials on planetary subject, theories on space travel and some on parallel universe. A shame that I have read most of them, though maybe I should pick up on 'Jene Katz'. His viewpoint on the scientific endeavours, and the country's struggle, in the space race is very fascinating."

"Dude, who are you talking to?" said a feminime voice that he knew too well. Overwhelmed, Edd found his face reddening as he turned around, finding himself face to face with Nazz.

"Oh Nazz... " he buried himself into the nearest book he can grab, a childrens book called 'The Multi-Color Giraffe' that was misplaced in the astronomy section. "You're back from Germany?"

"At a great time too. A smart man like you reading a book like that? Best thing I've seen all week"

"There is... a subtle amount of complexity regarding the giraffe" Edd blurted out, followed by burying his face into the book out of embarrassment. He couldn't believe the excuse he came out with.

"Hey, don't worry. I still find myself reading 'The Adventure of the Magic Wizard'" Nazz comforted Edd, feeling a little guilt over her joke. "Why don't we catch up?"

"Really?" Edd turned his head towards Nazz again, a more thorough scan than just her face, as he noticed the cream-coloured jumper and the blue denim skirt with black leggings. Edd found himself surprised that she is wearing a more mature outfit compared to her previous wear.

"Yeah. I need to talk about Germany with you" Nazz was filled with excitement, though she transition into a disappointing tone. "Kevin doesn't know much about Germany... and Rolf would say that it's a 'few countries away from old country' and goes into his family history".

"Ah, I see. I shall indulge myself in the conversation. I've been on a trip with father to Germany myself!" Edd responded, assuring her of his interest to continue the conversation.

"Awesome. I better tell Kevin that you are tagging along"

"Wait, Kevin is he..." Before Edd could complete his sentence, Nazz has already gone ahead, out of the bookstore to tell Kevin. "This might be... awkward".

Meanwhile, outside the entrance to Keylime Mall, Marie Kanker is leaning against the emerald-marble pillars. She has loitered outside the mall for what it seems an eternity to her, though in reality it has been five minutes, waiting for her sisters as they plan their destructive antics inside... despite being banned multiple times. Marie held the highest count number of nine bans .

"Tch, I'm not waiting any longer for those two slowpokes" Marie made her way through to the doors of the Mall, donning on her black fedora and electric blue sunglasses as disguises. "I can create my own fun".


End file.
